Key Takeaways
In midlife, it can be challenging for women to make space for themselves and their self-care. Women often find their identities tied up with others, so finding time for themselves can seem selfish. They may also feel overwhelmed by the demands of their jobs and families.
Instead of telling stories and passing on information to our daughters and our granddaughters and our sisters, we hold it back. We hold back the unpleasant stories—such as those on menopause—about what it's like to be a woman in this world.
Midlife alchemy involves transforming something ordinary into something magical and empowering.
During midlife, individuals may feel stuck in a rut and experience a sense of emptiness or lack of purpose. This feeling can be due to hormonal changes associated with perimenopause and menopause. However, we can see this as an opportunity to reinvent oneself and create a more fulfilling life by embracing the changes and stepping into one's own power—hence the term “midlife alchemy”.
The idea of empowering women to choose their own path in life instead of being tied to traditional roles ended up becoming overwhelming. Women were told to do everything and lacked mentors to guide them, especially those who came of age in the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s.
Research shows that most men still want women to fulfill traditional roles of taking care of the home and family, while also working outside the home. This pressure to have it all, combined with consumerist culture and social expectations, causes women's wellbeing and self-care to suffer as they try to fulfill all these obligations.
On the other hand, men also struggled with the rapid changes in gender roles and traditional family dynamics. They were used to having their mothers take care of the home. There was also the lack of conversation between fathers and sons about these role changes.
During midlife, women gain wisdom and experience stirrings in their soul, where they feel that there is more to them than what they have accomplished. They realize they have more time behind them than ahead and start thinking about their legacy.
The concept of self-care is viewed differently by women, with some believing it to be superficial like getting their nails done, while others consider it to be seeking mental health professionals and physical checkups. The problem is that everyone has a different understanding of what self-care means.
Self-care shaming occurs on both sides, with some feeling shame for their self-care choices and others shaming those who do not prioritize self-care. This creates a culture of shame surrounding self-care, which can undo the positive effects of taking care of oneself.
To figure out who they are now, women need to let go of social expectations that weigh them down and reflect on their beliefs and thoughts. Beliefs that have been passed down through culture, family, and social programming can be deeply ingrained, and it's important to test them to see if they still hold true. Women should focus on what they truly want and figure out their own desires and priorities.
Dr. Petty encourages women to get out of their heads and back into their bodies to listen to their heart and gut, which are powerful tools that help them make decisions from a place of empowered feminine wisdom and energy.
When someone pushes back against your growth, it's not about you, but rather their fear of being left behind. Have conversations with family members who may resist your personal growth and changes. These conversations with loved ones should be upfront with the goal of determining your non-negotiables while also being open to compromise.
Midlife women should share stories with their daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and young cousins about the importance of having clear communication and practical discussions about responsibilities in relationships. They should encourage young people, both men and women, to have these conversations before making a commitment to avoid conflicts in the future.
Empower yourself by seeking information and resources to achieve your goals. Don't see yourself as a victim and don't give away your power, but ask for help when needed.
About the guest
Dr. Lisa Petty started her career as a holistic nutritionist and health researcher and quickly became recognized as a speaker, journalist, award-winning author, and media health expert. After several years of working with women who struggled to follow through on their health goals, Lisa earned a PhD for her research on how midlife women experience self-care in the face of the social pressures on them to be perfect in every facet of their lives. Lisa now helps midlife women navigate midlife and create the life they really want. Learn more about her work in the following channels:
www.lisapetty.com
https://www.instagram.com/drlisapetty
https://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifealchemy
Additional Resources
Free Wellbeing Check-in
Seven Things To Do When You Feel Stressed
About Hello, Hot Flash
Hello, Hot Flash Podcast, where we discuss menopause, perimenopause, weight, sleep, stress, and all things impacting midlife women. Expert interviews, life-impacting topics, and the latest tips on living your best mid-life! Find us on Apple, Spotify, and Podbean.
Looking to get your product in front of women ages 35 and up? Why not become a sponsor? Contact me at Stephanie@StephanieLynnShaw.com for additional information.
You can learn more about our host by visiting hellohotflash.com.